Coping Tips for Families

• Don ’t lose your identity in the system—don’t let your loved one or the system consume your life
• Be good to yourself and take care of YOU.
• Take time for yourself
• Move through your daily life, work, take care of your family
• Don’t focus on when s/he will come home—think about now
• Do one day at a time
• Think about the positive aspects of your relationship
• Have at least one person you can be honest with—someone who will keep your secrets safe—don’t try to do this alone!!
• Believe in yourself and your inner strength
• Believe in God/Allah
• Don’t keep things bottled up—talk them out
• Cry when you feel you need to, scream if you have to
• Never lose sight of who you are
• Be true to yourself
• Hold your head up high
• Love your incarcerated person wholeheartedly—that does not mean giving him/her everything
• Speak to your loved one often about your feelings
• At some point stop asking why—accept reality and move on from there.
• Get involved
• Join a support group, be pro-active, reach out to those who will support, help and understand you (other prison families)
• Join websites for prison families/friends
• Keep busy
• Be prayerful
• Take your mind off your troubles, be involved with different things
• Attend a local church
• Be honest with yourself and your loved ones
• Communicate!!
• Work at bettering yourself, your relationship, your communication
• Appreciate what you have.
• Laugh
• Play with your children
• Exercise
• Learn everything you can about NYS DOCS, Parole, Probation, Division of Criminal Justice Services—become an expert, figure out what is wrong and work to make it right. Often, advocating for your own incarcerated loved one can become a movement--an event—a TV or radio show—an inspiration and education for others