How to Start A Prison Families Support Group

• It’s fairly easy to start a group…there are prison families everywhere and we all need support. Once you have decided to do it, ask yourself if you know someone who can help you (teamwork is great here) and whether you want a weekly, bi-monthly or monthly group. Albany and Brooklyn have weekly groups and our members get in the habit of being with us that night every week (of course, some come only once, some once a month, some when they can, etc.).
• Talk to some agencies/churches and find a place. Ideally you want free meeting space, easy to get to, with parking, and you want the site to understand that what you are doing is confidential. If you can find 2 adjoining rooms, that would be good because eventually you may want to offer childcare and that should be very close to the adult meeting.
• A 90 minute slot works well. One hour is too short and 2 is too long, in our experience. It is good to start on time and end on time.
• Our groups are open to friends and families of prisoners, formerly incarcerated people and their families and interested community members. Sometimes the latter category is a challenge for us—at times, clergy people and other church members have come to group to try to encourage church membership. That is not our purpose and PFNY suggests no religious affiliation so that all will feel welcome. However, a church-based group for church members is certainly possible and you may decide to limit the group to just families and friends or just women or no non-families, etc.
• Once you have the details—time, place, frequency, who you are going to work with and what you want to provide- do a flyer and make sure there is a working phone number that can take messages from interested people (and a voice mail that says “If you are calling about the prison family support group…”).
• Don’t promise too much. At first, a place to talk, meet other prison families and feel welcome and comfortable is exactly right. Later, the group can decide what more it can provide for members and regular attendees.
• In Albany, we tell people that unfortunately, there is no childcare available for those who want to attend. At times over the years, we have had local sororities, other volunteers or paid staff provide childcare and sometimes an organized program for children. This is very labor-intensive. Having children present can be disruptive and there is often emotional content that we think children should not be present for. We have had babies attend with their moms, but of course when they grow a little, they can get loud!
• Most groups maintain a sign-in book, which is confidential and does not require that attendees use their full name. The numbers reflected may end u being important if you are looking for funding. Groups are always free but sometimes collect small donations, from those who can, to use for refreshments or to be given as a donation to the church or agency that hosts them—or for copying or other expenses.
• It is very important to have a group leader or co-leaders who keep the group moving, make sure everyone who wants to speak has an opportunity and keep things moving along productively. Sometimes the group needs a very firm hand to keep attendees from taking over with their own agenda. People come to us burdened by difficult lives and sometimes do not understand that the group is not there to work on a particular issue of concern to them (that may happen but we suggest that a spin-off group be formed).
• Issues of discussion include prison and non-prison problems and challenges, as well as successes, announcements and personal stories. But group is never a forum for any one person and it is never a lecture (unless you bring in a speaker on a particular topic). We always say that good listeners will practice speaking and good speakers will practice listening. The most important thing is that everyone gets some time to speak if they want.
• Don’t be worried if only a few people show up—2 can be a meeting! Get those flyers out and do as much email outreach as you can. Slowly you will build up membership. We can help you!
• Call Prison Families of New York, Inc.—518-453-6659